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9 Steps to becoming the Speed Eating Bratwurst Champion

Believe-you-me it’s every little Packer girl and boys dream.  Many Packers fans train for it, but only one can succeed in becoming the speed-eating-bratwurst champion.  This year the competition was fierce doan-cha-know.  We have two-tree simple rules: 1) you eat the brat (condiments of your choice), and 2) drink a MillerLite, and 3) hold the cup upside-down over your head.  Uff-da.

With camera set in sports-mode, the brat and beer fray began.  At the end, one competitor stood arm raised confidently.  Congratulations to Packer Michelle #1806.  I showed the digital playback to Michelle and asked what she was thinking during the competition.


(time elapsed in seconds)
Step #1  (0:01) First bite:  “ah tasty… reminds me of Sheboygan”
Step #2  (0:03) Second bite: “I have to remember to warsh my Aaron Roders sheets”
Step #3  (0:05) Third bite: “is Shopko still having 2for1 Clay Matthews toilet seat cover sale?”


Step #4  (0:08) Fourth bite: Remember what great-grandma said, “gristle is good, gristle is good”
Step #5  (0:11) Fifth bite: “Aaron Rodgers belt-move is way sexier than Kaepernicking”
Step #6  (0:14) Sixth bite: “Who invited the damn Bears fan?”


Step #7  (0:17) Last bite: “reminder to self, buy plane tix to East Rutherford for Feb 2nd, 2014”
Step #8  (0:19) Drink: “ah the champagne of beers… I’m gonna need another”
Step #9  (0:20) “Thank you grandma… I will keep my promise never let a Bears fan in my home”